Sunday, April 6, 2014

Continuity fields

I had to check the date after reading this short article - "You might be seeing this on a 15 second delay" - in The Sydney Morning Herald today. I am a bit incredulous. Is it the eyes that have the delay, or is it the brain? Fifteen seconds is a massively long time. My oscillopsia is debilitating, yet I suspect the delay is more like 2 seconds. What this report seems to be saying is that our memory is subject to an over-ride capacity. It is not the physical act of seeing, which is a hand-in-glove action of eye and brain. Rather it is what we remember of what we saw.

My ability to "see" my environment is deteriorating, but gradually.
I no longer see a neurologist, as I did not seem to fit into their research niche, but was used as a control subject. I never received any feedback, in any of the "experiments" that I endured. I was offered a replacement neurologist, but decided against it once I researched him in turn. He is a long-term collaborator with my previous neurologist. I once asked to be checked out by a second neurologist, but he was so overwhelmed that he demurred to the status of the professor. So, it is not for me.

At my new house, I work in the garden a lot. At this time of the year, that means I do a lot of raking of leaves, there being three massive deciduous trees in the backyard. I find it very therapeutic, and enjoy the solitude. However, it does have a deleterious affect upon me.
I can get to the point where I am unable to see. Don't get me wrong. I am not blind. Everything does not go black. However, I am unable to "see" what is in front of me. I stop doing the raking movement, stand still for perhaps 10 seconds, and I can perceive objects again. There is the other effect, too. I think of it as the cracked mirror effect. Perhaps a bit like a kaleidoscope, but minus the origami effect. Imagine a pane of glass with a massive crack. The right-hand-side slides behind the LHS, making the field of vision imperfect. Now multiply that a few times And there are times when my perception of the world is "approximate". I know what is there - or more accurately, I know what to expect - and, hence, I am not immediately transfixed.

Something similar happens when I go into the city, which I try to do once per week. The city is a very noisy, very busy place. Both of these factors affect my brain in some way. I walk with a stick. and I always have a shopping-trolley. So, actually I have two-legs and two aids. Yet, I endeavour to shuffle along the building line, so there are only moving objects along one side. Most people cast their sight a certain distance ahead of them, treading confident they know what is in their immediate path. To do that, I have to stop, and look up, and wait for everything to settle into place. When walking now, I mostly look down, about my height in front of me. I only realised last week that I no longer even cast my sight a medium distance. This is where the affect of the sliding plates of glass come into play. It has something to do with movement, my eyes, and my brain. But just what, I have NFI.


head in the sun said...

Well.....that certainly sounds challenging.
How do you go with reading?

Julie said...

Two types of reading, computer, and paper-based. With either, I read with my left eye closed. With paper-based reading, I have a limit of about 1/4 hour. With PB I use a magnifying sheet. With both, I move my head, rather than my eyes.

And I have just started "Wolf Hall" ...

CaT said...

i hope you are doing well, despite what i read here!
i was going through your posts, suddenly wondering how you are. i checked on you before, but i dont think i commmented.
anyways, i think its funny how through blogging i sometimes think of people (like you and other bloggers), although we never met. you made me post a picture of a grave/cemetery every tuesday, and i liked it. yet since you stopped i never did it anymore. every now and the i think of starting again, but i never do....
i hope you are doing well
CaT from boston (but im not in boston anymore, back in amsterdam since quite a while now..)

diane b said...

It was an interesting article. I often see continuity mistakes in movies so I wonder what that says about my brain / eye function.
Your problem must be so frustrating, not only to have to put up with the disability but not to be able to be helped by anyone in the medical field.
Take care old girl.